Fighting Crushes: Self-control

We’ve decided to do a little “series” on crushes. And as I was praying about, this I felt led to share from a Christian standpoint what crushes are and why we need to fight against them. Here we go!

First of all,  having a crush is totally normal. You are not weird if you are attracted to a guy. Actually, to a certain extent crushes are a good thing. The attraction between a man and a woman is God-given, and therefore good (James 1:17). But crushes become wrong when we start to think about a certain person a lot and when we start fantasizing about that person. This is wrong because it’s having a lack of self-control. Proverbs 25:28 says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken down and left without walls.” This is a serious matter. When we lack self-control we leave ourselves open for all sorts of trouble. For example: if I keep thinking about a specific guy, if I dream about him and all that, and then I find out he is interested in someone else, I will be left heart-broken. Another thing my mom always reminds me is this (and it’s so helpful): the guy I’m attracted to is probably someone else’s future husband. That puts things in a whole new light! While he might not be married now he probably will be someday—and it most likely won’t be to me. This really stresses my need for self-control.

One thing I really want to encourage you ladies to do is talk to your parents if you find yourself falling for a guy. As teens our parents are our principle source of help and encouragement. There have been many instances when I feel overwhelmed with weariness of fighting for self-control and I go to my parents and I am reminded afresh of the power of the gospel and that I do not have to go through this alone. God is here with me and He will give me all the help I need. Now I understand that it might feel embarrassing to talk to your mom about this. But it doesn’t have to be. Your parents love you and want to be there for you. They know how you feel and they want to help. Please take advantage of the God-given gift of Christian parents. And if you don’t have Christian parents, I suggest going to another mature Christian woman for help.

Psalm 73:25-26 says, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Even if I fail, God never does. I have no strength in and of myself. But with God all things are possible . . . even getting over a crush. And Jesus is way more satisfying than any crush could ever be.

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